Remember the huge splash with the secret of their so-called Law of Attraction? No wonder. Secret proponents promised that everything you had to do was think about how you want your life to change, and it would happen. How? Although there is no trace of scientific evidence to justify it, she claims, your positive thoughts radiate into the universe to something that they have a magnetic frequency, consider other positive things floating there, and back to you, Turn your opinion on a reality. If only to change ourselves and our life was so simple! But I know from experience, and no doubt also that much as we would wish it so, there is no free lunch when it comes to old patterns and change our ways.

I am a clinical psychologist who for many years successfully helps people make changes in their lives. I know what it takes. Let me say it clearly and directly: positive thinking and hard, what you want is not enough to get where you want. Not positive that thinking and focusing on your goal is not a good idea. It is quite safe. But it is only a step towards a real change.

The real secret to a successful and change your life is really no secret. In fact, it is a well-documented scientific fact. I call it the law of action. You must take action and step-by-step actually engage in new behavior. This measure starts with a plan.

The first thing that your plan is a clear mental picture of what would you do differently to bring about change. Next you must remove all obstacles you are likely to assist in the implementation of your planning and developing a strategy for dealing with each of these obstacles. It is not difficult. If weight loss is the question that is not junk food in the house could be a part of your strategy. If shyness is the problem, you can plan a little more, but initially only with someone who feels safe. Get support from people who back the changes you want to do. Promote the care of people is a big improvement. So, keep your sense of humor, understand that real change takes time, and remember to Pat on the back, not so much for the success at first, but also for bonding with the efforts.

Your next step is practice. Players do not go on stage without much rehearsal premiere. Same here. If you try a new way of doing things, you need to practice what you say and do, before it enters the real world. Try talking to the mirror, or in a cassette recorder, or even better when you can role play with a friend. Practice helps you comfortable with your new behavior.

Finally, take your show on the road. But, as you would expect to fine tune your performance. Change a personal habit or way something is a matter of unlearning the old behavior and replacing it with something new. Do you remember how it was when you first learned to bike or drive a car? They had to talk about himself on the steps, practice, learn from mistakes and even more practice. It is really the same thing here.

The "secret", the key to success, is also thought into action. Remember, as the four P's: planning, practice, sustained and polishing your performance. There is no more time, as to the present to start. You will probably not feel ready before you start. That's okay. Simply start anyway!

Marion K. Jacobs, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, adjunct professor at UCLA and self-help expert. Her book and CD-Take-Charge Life: How to Recast Your Role in Life ... A scene at a time, offers a detailed plan for personal change. To learn more visit http://take-chargeliving.com/